hahaha. ^^ today the stress level will increase 10 fold. but i believe sandy i and can achieve it together!!! =) hehe. unil we finish, we will not give up~ JY EVERYONE!

now that since janice has published it on her blog, i can too! haha keeping that big secret not easy leh!!! LUCKY NO ONE ASKED ME! =D haha.

congratulations to our newest happy couple! hahaha. ^^ to janice and kevin (i shall fill this in when everyone knows already!!!) HEY THAT MEANS ONE OF YOUR ANNIV WILL BE ON CHRISTMASSSS SOOOO COOL!!! =D hahahaha.

cant say it came as a shock. KINDA OBVIOUS DONT YOU THINK! hmm.. obviously not since none of them noticed. xD

anyway, keeping secrets is hard when im bursting to tell it. especially today, when i knew but cant say anything.. =p but IM SMART I KEPT TO MY DEAL!!! HAHA!

p.s. hope xiu's getting her work done happily. her anniv is coming up soon too... happy 1 year to xiu! i know its abit patchy right now on your end, but hang in there if you think its worth it! ^^

and after that, its gonna be MY ANNIV!!CANT WAIT! YAY ME!!!

p.p.s janice i finally amateur le! hehe.

how come i keep feeling that my parents never understand how i feel? obviously a sentence like "do you know what your world revolves around" is supposed to make me feel homely after a day of hard work, and all that i come back to hear is to be berated on what they see me doing.

IS IT REALLY THAT WRONG TO REST AND PLAY AND TALK ON THE PHONE AT NIGHT! i mean yeah im sure she feels im not spending QUALITY time at home, but dont you think I WANT TO... all she sees is me playing online games, so she naturally assumes that im doing that all day.. cant she even bother to ask me "so how's your day" or "what did you do today" before even consider telling me off. i doubt she even knows im testing contact lens, or HAVING hols for that matter. all the things that float in her head about me is how i only call to ask for money... well maybe i wouldn't have to if she would remember to transfer it~ then again, she probably wont because then i wont call her at all! damn.

im too upset to talk.. got loads of work to do and so little time. i really want to go to school tomorrow. but considering whether i should... maybe i should just go on monday.. does it really matter who hands in early as long as i do it on time? i dont think so..

anyway, back to mummy dearest. one sentence like that ruined my entire day. im now a very unhappy person.

OMG IM MOVING HOUSE! WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!!! =D *since blogger deleted my previous entry, im too lazy to retype. ** NEW HOUSE, YAYS!

happy father's day to all those dads out there~ will post later when im done celebrating my dad's father's day. xD

on the brighter side of life, however, us 4 spent a lot of time talking about our yr 1 lives. some interesting things came up, more talk about our favourite "25" year old girl, **i wont write her name, because i dont want to soil my blog with her name** more talk about how most of us have changed since then. it was quite a laugh to start with. but serious things went down too... some work got done, and some relationships got patched up.

janice i hope u feel better after that. my feet hurt.

went with my parents to eat popiah.. ending up very full and wishing i wore a bigger shirt xD haha.

back to proofreading for my dad... finally news writing came into handy xD amazingly i can remember all the funny squiggly symbols. its somewhat exciting (yes xiu... egg-sai-ting...) to know that i remember stuff as well xD

chiisana // ame

It feels so different, watching the world go by while on the other side. The rain’s falling, but it’s not hitting me. The people out there are getting drenched by the machines made by man. But I’m on the outside… I’m dry, but I’m watching those people out there, getting wetter by the minute, and I long to be out there too. The rain is cleansing the earth, making it new again. Through the glass window, and the heavily pouring rain, the world looks fresh and new again: no more dirt, no more ugliness, just a brand new world.

It cools down the earth, washing it of impurities, and makes it new all over again. It’s been a long time since I’m able to sit here, watching the rain fall as I feel so comfortable and at ease. School and everything else has been so hectic, so crazy, that I hardly have time left for the little things in life: the little things that I have loved since I was a child.

accident-prone day

today is probably the worst and most unlucky day of my life. first i fell down a few steps near my house. on the way to kf's house, i hit my chin on the bus seat. at kf's house, i scrapped my leg against the square dustbin. while doing the editing for the new SP logo our group designed, i scrapped my arm across one of his table drawers. both my leg and my arm bled slightly. so i decided to wash the wound. while washing the wound, i went to pee. and i closed the door, right on my big toe. Ouch. pain... but no... that wasn't the end of it. after that, i proceeded by hitting my head on one of his cupboards, and then stretching a chest muscle while he "carried me ambulance style". (p.s. i know why they only do it to unconscious or dead people". after finishing the logo, i got this very sore neck... ouchie.

however, he promised me at least my heart isn't broken. again, not true. as we went home he said some stuff, i said some stuff, got us both pretty upset. so yep. my heart was broken in the end. hai. bad day. accident prone me. everywhere still hurts... least my face is fine xD except my nose. i somehow injured that too.

waterfall of emotions

is it that hard to get it
is it so bad to know
when do i realise
i have to let go
~~~


why is it that my memories are becoming solid, whereas my emotions are turning into running water. i try my best to hold them in the palm of my hand, i try my best to keep them to myself. but the more i try, the more it seems to want to leave my hands. its not dripping: its flowing freely like a waterfall. its no longer a small stream of emotions, but an entire gush that i can't prevent anymore.

i feel inferior, i feel weak. there are things i know i cannot control, things that were planned out for me from the beginning of time, things that im already assured of, things i already know im never going to do. but my feelings are never one of those things. my feelings i am allowed to control, to let go when i see fit. but the more i hold it back the more it wants to rear its ugly head at the people closest to me. but i know that once i let anyone see who i really am, everything i've worked for will turn to dust, and it will fall on the asphalt road, and become nothing but a pile of emptiness.

its hard to bear, and everytime i think about it a small chill runs down my back, irritating me even more in that condition. everything that has gone wrong has already gone wrong, there's nothing i can do to change that. but when you think about it... what can i do?

i guess anyone could be feeling the same way, the trapped feeling, the choking sensation of being stuck and not able to escape. the freedom seems to have seeped out of my life, along with everything else...

i feel lost, and i need a hand to grab, i need someone there to tell me that i'll be okay. i feel like im beginning to lose myself.


well... all i can say is this: on a brighter note. im going to meet my cousins for lunch on thursday. havent seen them in years.

19th MILE

MILE has finally opened... now consideration becomes whether i really want to go for it. i guess i'll just go for the interview and consider IF i get in. if not, so be it. im keen on it for a few reasons...

1) its japan after all
2) i miss homestays
3) its an experience i've managed to have once in my life time, and now im given the chance to do it again...

i guess i'll just get the form from grace, and then figure my way up from there~

what are the chances i'll get in? no idea... xD i just have to hope. its like miyazaki all over again~

i blame myself

ive been wondering a lot whether or not to change my blog address... but another issue would definitely be what to change it too... i have no idea actually. just feel like changing. i mean, xiu has changed hers, phy has too, sandy too... even janice. no im not saying i feel like changing because everyone else it, but rather because i feel that its become stagnant, like i need some kind of change in my life (or in my blog anyway). i managed to find aloy's blog and ruth's blog a few days ago... hehe. let's see whether they can find mine. shouldn't be that hard.. but you never know. xD hehe.

anyway, other than blogging about changing address, i want to mention another thing. =X today i went to school. was quite upset at first because i thought our meeting would be for a many many hours (like until 6 or so)... so i figured i cant go to see a house that my mom might be buying, and that i cant go out with KF, so he's gg to work. but when im around school, i find out they're ending at 3... and i have to go to optemetry centre at 1... so there goes my planning. i was pretty upset, but when i got there it kinda ebbed away when i saw how poor phyphy was sick... and xiu too... decided good for me, i can go home and sleep or smth... but lo and behold i reached home at about 5.30 (i know that because i missed my TV show), thanks to stupid SBS 70 that i had to wait for half an hr (next to a smoking guy, i might add.). now i could have moved, but you should know how hot it was today... so i stayed in the shade... that little portion anyway...

and btw, i have to go back to the optemetry centre on monday, because they couldn't do it before i had to leave (4 hours.. x( hehe.)
when i got home i took a good long nap and now im going to play audition...=)

my life feels so empty

haix. ^^ BPS is finally over. now just a few more to go. about to leave for school for project meeting: im sure the girls are right, by the time we're done, we're going to be very very sick of each other. but im sure there will be laughs along the way... there always is.

too many things going on recently, my mind can't seem to track everything at one go... oh wellies... i guess what comes along comes along, ne? =) hehe.

hmmm... phyphy did this, so i shall do it too! hehe.

Your Love Type: INFP

The Idealist In love, you crave a long term, harmonious relationship. For you, sex doesn't come quickly - it takes time for you to open up. Overall, you are supportive, nurturing, and expressive. However, you tend to be shy and protective of your personal space. Best matches: ENFJ and ESFJ

What's Your Love Type?

guess that's something we have in common.. =X

kf's working tonight, so i guess i get some time to myself, well not that i want it... but since he's working i guess i'll catch up on some TV xD hehe.

well i got to go. meeting with the ABSOLUTE communications team. ja ne~

ramblings of a sick idiot

its been a boring day. when you're sick its kinda hard to get around. still got BPS to start studying.. =p haiii. its been another roller coaster ride of a day, not the brain, but the stomach.. ^^ anyway, its hard to sleep when you're sweating. i took about 3 baths today, will take another one tonight. =p before i sleep.

=p anyway, tomorrow will be another fight. considering whether to send oita and hiroshima off anot... guess maybe will, maybe not, depending on situation. ^^ meaning if i am free. my attitude sux these few days, perhaps because of the different loads of work today, from different places. club stuff, school stuff, daddy's stuff, mrs lim's stuff, and other weird stuff... haiii. worship the day its all over. ~

crazy feelings

today for some reason i got sick. must be the stupid laksa yesterday. i suddenly had a big headache, and a horrible sick feeling in my stomach, the kind that u get when you know that you're going to get sick.

i really wanted to go to school today, felt like today's meeting was going to be important. but i just couldn't get myself to leave for school. i felt sick to my stomach, and hands were shaking violently. xiu nicely reminded me on her blog about my BPS homework, and i realised that now i have to go study it. hopefully i can remember everything..

school seems more dreary each day, but knowing what's going on definitely helps because now less work seems to take when compared to having to take tests and everything else.

cca's going fine, with a lot of respondents when it came to homestay. hope most of them are sincere about going through with it, and not just saying it for fun without the consent of their parents.

i hope xiu feels better.. =) see u girls tomorrow~

thank u naresh.

naresh just told me on MSN: im working with him, janice, fauzia, and this melissa from 03... he mentioned things that i cant say here, so ive become curious to why? sandy or anyone who reads this, tell me who this melissa from 03 is ok? eh wait no melissa. michelle! haha yeah michelle. =P tell me okay~ poor naresh, he was the only soul from 01 in class today. anyway... im trying to think of a crisis for DBS... what idiotic crisis can a bank have? hm.. *regrets not picking a restaurant or something...*

stressful nights

nothing productive happened today... tried to pay attention in class. dont think i will make it to class tmr unless i can finish my ICMT tonight. which is hard seeing i havent found an article yet... =X wonder how the other girls are doing?

introduction to my life

its a funny day today. i got on the bus to meet sandy to come over to my place, and i meet shawn and phy getting off the bus~ then on the way back, i tell xiu and sandy abt the person who puked, and there was another person puking on THAT bus. not to mention the hazardous old people... besides that.

spent a lot of time doing group discussions, and had some funny moments. will post it tomorrow! hehe.

highlight being after that i went out with kf. we hunted marina square like wolves, found the jacket he wanted, bought it for half price. =p hehe. and then one the way back, we saw... lo and behold, a tureno 86, my hachiroku, with a subaru WRX. kf said it was some gang for sure, but i had my doubts about that 86.. didnt look reall... =( anyway... then there was this IRRITATING guy who waited at the green light (he could have drove off in his tiny motorcycle)... but when it was kf's turn to cross lane, he drove, really slowly, making sure KF couldn't move his car. irritating. all the while he was staring at KF too... not to mention that he flashed KF with the high beam... poor kf was blinded!!! =(

we came over to my place for a while, then he went home, and i started changing my blogskin... hehe. YES I KNOW ITS PINK! IM GOING TO CHANGE IT TO ANOTHER PICTURE, BUT NO TIME TO DO IT! so please bear with the pink for now.. =p

new blog, new start

new skin, simple enough, will do a nicer background when i have time... for now its pink. to kill all your eyes. ^^ especially takumi-kun xD and btw, im glad kf got the highest. =D proud of him!

test yourselves!

since phyphy is doing this, i shall do it too!!! =D hehe.


Create your own Friend Test here

funny day today

today was a funny and weird day. since yesterday i finally bought my 1 gig xD card, im a very happy person because i spent less than 50 on it. ^^ and i brought it out today because i thought KF and i were going to the botanic gardens.

so we headed for clementi because i had to do the clementi community service thing... took up some time, and then on the bus there, we saw a girl who puked. ew the bus was filled with a horrible stench, but i can't help but feel sorry for the girl... it must be so embarassing..

and then after CSSC (which i realised the lady's son was this guy i know from before james poon), we headed for dinner at the botak jones area... and i got a huge surprise~ MR RAJAN!!! haha. i saw him with his son and daughter. he seemed equally surprised (if mr rajan is ever surprised) to see me too! hahahah.

then we headed down to holland v instead, because it was too late. we had a nice dinner there, then headed to this place for bread. funny breads they have there. spent 1 hr or 2 in holland v, and another 1 hr in suntec.. haha didn't buy anything...

*note to self... give sandy $20 for chalet...*

to all who it may concern

happpy birthday to sandy~~~~ hehehe. may u and fit have a happy 19 year old birthday~ haha. pics later when i get home, okie? ^^

hope all you girls feel better today. ~ =)