im confused... ~~~ hehe. tomorrow will be an interesting day indeed!!! ^^ hehehehe.

HELP

hehe. ^^ i just got notice that my uncle is selling off some of his sample clothings which include stuff from ZARA.. but he intends to sell it online... e.g. ebay or livejournal, so he's recruiting me and my sister to do it for him. he'll give us the information, we get a minimum 30% cut from it. but its a ongoing project so i cant back out after saying yes.

however, what with CCA and school work, i dont think im able to cope... plus if he sells things off at like $10 per piece, im gonna get like $1.50.. =( not worth the effort really..

oh yeah... and i forgot to mention, sample usually means 1 piece per type, so only 1 size. very narrow market and scattered concentration if you ask me.

but i figure i might need help thinking. guys, what you think? help me!

e learning horror

haha. just came back from the movie.. now rushing through e learning. i've already finished the following:

CIBM: quiz... lecture not up yet.
ICM: trying to open now.. jamming my system
ICMT: picked company for individual already... now have to look for article...
WFM: not yet started
MIA: scared to start
BPS: will do later. xD hehehe.

i couldn't do anything earlier cos nothing loaded!!! =( so im stuck rushing. haiii.

the movie was interesting. got loads of freestuff too!!! =D i liked the puss in boots... cute cute!

^^ happy 8th month to me and kf!

weird assignment

Icmt is a funny module. we're suposed to look for a potential crisis... hmmm i dont even know where to begin? im just typing random sentences and see if im lucky and anything comes up.. xD hehe.

e learning week is pure venom... laggy computer and everything. the camp was quite entertaining.. though i spent most of my time with the Oita group of people. quite enjoyable. the hiro group is too, but possibly because they have a larger weight on their shoulders, so its hard for them to have too much fun. =x except caster. he always seems happy hahaha.

back to ICMT then...

Your Toes Should Be Pink

You love to dress girly and work your feminine charms, with a bit of an edge. Your ideal guy: Is confident enough to get any girl he wants Stay away from: Jerks who only see you as eye candy

What Color Should Your Toenails Be?

pink eh... odd color for me. i dont know my stand about pink anymore... hm... guess it varies with shades of it.

just camped my way home.. v tired... =( on the bright side im looking forward to spying on sandy, shawn, fit and phy from above at shrek (sherk) 3 on the 23rd! hahaa. cant wait~!

kf and i had a little talk today, and i think we cleared up a lot of things. =) good

my horoscope,

Yesterday's work forecast for my horoscope... quite accurate usually because its based on my birthtime exactly..

Look for solutions that don't involve direct confrontation today. Encourage warring parties to enter mediation. Once it gets to the point where hurling insults is easier than communicating, it's all over.

riight. guess it makes sense. at least its now all over. i dont feel particularly happy, but at least its better than nothing...

premonition

i had a very interesting talk with aloysius today regarding the astrology symbols and stars and destiny... that kind of stuff. it was interesting to find that someone had that same feeling that i did.

for a long time now i've realised that destiny isn't what i percieve it to be... but rather the world i live in is just my made up way of hiding who i really am. only in my dreams do i realise my full potential and my full body and soul, and that's where i feel i can truly be myself.

"a gift" he called it. being able to feel when something is right or wrong is a gift to him. i guess so, at least now i know i should listen to my gut feeling. its a spiritual thing to me. though im not a christian or buddhist... heck im not any kind of religion that i know of... most people would classify me as wiccan. before anyone says anything, wiccan is not witchcraft. wiccan is the ancient form of worshipping nature at its fullest. i realise that its when i trust in nature and believe in what i see, taking things as it comes, is when i can feel and even see things that i feel will happen to me in the future.

sleepy and tired...

wooo im a sleepy person... its already 5 am but i havent slept. in fact, it was about this that i woke up this morning... 24 hrs without sleep already...

im very sleepy... and i cant help but to try my best to hang on. later on i have to bring the girls to the clubhouse... and then we continue while i contact the hiroshima people... yays me!!! =D hahaha.

tonight im going to get a good night sleep. =D sleepy!

on a higher note, i finally got my fav audition hair not long ago! =D

weirdness in school

am i really that sensitive to my surroundings? or iis it just me that SB is changing for the worse? in the past, when one person sits on a table, no other student will without the permission of that first person... now there's like a group of 6 friends sitting at the table I sat at 1 hr before they did... and while im nicely trying to ignore them and do my research... another 2 strangers to ME and THIS GROUP of 6... appears... and sits next to me. really weird... i dont recall doing that when i was yr 1, or when i was yr 2, but now when im y3 im starting to see all these kind of things... its really rude when im trying to do my research there they are gossiping over this girl called Ruth. sighhhh.... how do i research like this!?!?! gahhh. one of their voices damn loud... i cant stand this... next time i shall pick a table that's far away from the LTs... haixxxx....

weirdly funny thing today... i saw xiao ling running for class. almost literally running... running as far as her "heels" can take her anyway... then this girl behind her. (i dont know her name... will update when i show who she is to sandy and sandy tells me her name) said softly to her other friend.. "u have to understand and pity xiao ling... she hasn't gotten any attendance yet..." i stunned. if it was a joke, its quite a good one. and if it wasn't... its already been 3 to 4 weeks in school... and no attendance? that's definitely something to worry about... haha.

timeless animations

i broke down today... to no one but kf. its really hard to explain, and i really dont want to explain it face to face... so here it goes.

its hard to cope with all the stress going on... and i cant help but know that im feeling like im on a tight schedule... i have no time for secondary school friends, or my boyfriend, or anyone else. i dont want to talk about this because you guys probably feel the same way i do, and there's no point in making anything worse than it already is... but im really being stretched too far.

i cant help but ask myself what answer im supposed to give... am i supposed to push everything back for the sake of the project? am i supposed to let the first come first serve basis apply? or should i just pick the one i prefer? it seems like i have all these options, but all these options lead to one single dead end... its funny really. one dead end... im stuck either way.

and not to mention, i feel like time isn't on my side at all... 24 hours is not enough. partially i feel upset too because while i feel this way, my other 5 grp members must be feeling it too... and only one isn't there to feel this horrible pain. its funny especially because i feel guilty about how phy has told xiu about how she feels... and i know (or i think) she doesn't blame me for not being there... but i cant help but feel that we're a group of 6 working as a grp of 5... and i dont want to make it worse. but because of this, im getting cranky very easily. im sorry if i get upset recently... especially after the thursday meeting. xiu should know why...

i somewhat feel jealous of s and p, sandy and fit... at least for s and p they are arnd each other every day, and sand and fit do the same project, so even if they dont see each other, at least they're both just as busy. for me, its like i dont even have much time for my own bf, and when he has time i have to keep turning him down because of group projects. he's gotten upset at me so many times already... and i really dont want to make it any worse than it already is...

time is so not on my side... every day i do the same thing, wake up go to school, research when i get home, sleep. next morning... same thing... yay me. so boring. my secondary school friends want to meet me, but i have no time. and i feel so guilty because i keep having to turn them down. even when my bf asks me, i have to turn him down. i feel so mad with myself..

cca has become something that i find relaxing. even if its work... at least i get to do it with my BF.. and its at least fun.

girls i dont know how you feel, probably the same way. but i dont want to cry again... it's just me venting out how i feel. i dont mean that we're supposed to work less or anything... just sharing how i feel...

now... i've got to go mop up my tears and go continue my research.

spss hates me

just finished SPSS. my brain's lagging now. think i shall go to sleep. congratulate me for finishing SPSS, and i hope this is the toughest part for me to do... oh wait nvms still got the website component. ahh well group projects are like that. lets put our all into it, team! =D hehe

im sorry im not v hyper.. sleepy. night for now.

today is a horrible day. i lost my cards! MY IC, my ADMIN card and my EZ link!!! I HOPE SOME NICE SOUL RETURNS IT TO MEEE!!! I FEEL SO UN-IDENTIFIEDDDD!

part 2

just popped two pills in my mouth. nothing else that i could pop but panadols. it's a painkiller, but i dont think its meant to kill emotional pain. heart pain may be physical though.. i dont know

topsey turvey ride

today is the worst day of my life. not the people, mind you, i like the people i worked with today. but today was horrible. we met for about like sooo many hours to do ICMT, in the end the thing was cancelled. there goes like 2 hrs of work. haiii

then comes the topsy turvey emotional ride. first i was happy, then now im sad, and then now i just feel like swallowing two pills and going to bed. but sadly... i have to code. CODE stupid codes. haiiii...

today sux. sux damn badly. i hate my life. i hate today. i hate being imperfect. i hate people seeing me for the imperfectionist that i am.