thanks to all who have spammed my blog. yeah new year NEW YEAR!
rather than resolutions, lets remember the good things about 2008
1. Xiu's baby birth! remember how panicky we all were.. phy and i even wanted to bring fruits down but her mum wouldnt let us!
2. Xiu's wedding. fretting over the gift, FORGETTING TO BRING THE GIFT (this was phy's xD)
3. graudation. our graduation was at least the four of us. the last school event we went to together. taking pictures of us in our gowns. loved that day.
4. internship. talking about all the stupid things we did during our internship, planning on our own futures.
5. san's bday. she was so shockd she din realise we meant to pay for her!
6. phy's bday. haha it was fun playing charades! *airport runway indeed...*
7. going over to see yuka. loved every moment of it in kanazawa.
8. meeting matt. turned out he was a good friend, even after everything we managed to stay friends. (if u ever read this matt, im sorry i quarrelled with you so often xD)
9. meeting great buddies like calvin, suyi and shiyan. great friends. im not one bit sorry i met you. though yeah i may never meet you haha.
10. meeting new friends. vince, ray, terrance, bibi, ginu (sorry ppl i dunno ur real name cannot blame poor hino), dave, jaz, ivan, and a lot more! in some ways they all helped. Love xXEmoXx. ^^
11. Dating Jaz and Matt. Ok persay i dont think i regretted any of it. even if yeah it hurts. or it hurt then. it doesnt hurt anymore. they made me a stronger person ^^
12. my sis and i kinda bonded this year. kinda. it was like proving that we both grew up. i think before this i kept thinking of her as my baby sis. OI RUIYI IF U READ THIS WE NEED TO GO OUT!!!! LA!!! I TREAT U DINNER WHEN I GET MY PAY!
13. alone times. funny enough i enjoyed my alone times.
14. ANCT. as much as i miss them, as much as it was tiring. i miss every one of them. god only knows how much i miss SP and SEC right now. ^^ dont give up guys~ FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
there are a lot more i love about this year.. but right now i dont really remember all of them! thanks to my real life friends who were there for me when i called. thanks to my maple buds who stayed with me no matter how much of a jerk i was.
and most importantly thanks to my family, for always standing by me.
2008 is dedicated to all those memories of us. cherish it! and lets build new ones for 2009!!!
Dec 31, 2008
Dec 30, 2008
added a song to my blog. reflects my moood woo~ (note that the woo is for sentence purposes im not really going woo)
thanks to phy for spamming my tagboard (yes i agree they need a longer word limit). i'll try to blog as much as i can.
office is same as always. sleepy. boss not around. sleepy. yes very sleepy. extremely sleepy.
im halfway through all the articles. trying my best to finish as fast as possible.
kk back to work! lunch break over xD
thanks to phy for spamming my tagboard (yes i agree they need a longer word limit). i'll try to blog as much as i can.
office is same as always. sleepy. boss not around. sleepy. yes very sleepy. extremely sleepy.
im halfway through all the articles. trying my best to finish as fast as possible.
kk back to work! lunch break over xD
Dec 29, 2008
Have you ever been surrounded by so many, and yet you feel strangely alone? Imagine looking around you, all your closest friends in the same room, and yet strangely enough, it is you that doesn't seem to belong? They may smile at me, laugh with me, but all I see now, are faceless expressions staring back at me.
Don't mistake me, it's not loneliness. It's something more profound that no one word can truly explain this feeling. Thinking closely, it's the absence of feeling. Those who know me well enough should know what I have done, what I'm capable of doing. I don't deny this.
I've changed. Maybe so much I myself am confused. Many a time recently I look into the mirror and I no longer know the girl staring back at me. She's a stranger: she belongs nowhere. My spirit's gone. The fighting spirit has vanished. In the past, I was known for never giving up, fighting to the end. That spirit has disappeared.
I don't know what changed me so much, even I can no longer recognise myself. I sit alone in my room many times, trying to figure out what changed me, and whether I wanted it this way. It's still a double-edged sword: I no longer care how my enemies or even strangers see me. But it also scares me. I know that I've been neglecting my friends, or at the very least I haven't been myself lately. And I know if this goes on, I'm going to lose them. But strangely, it doesn't scare me.
Please dont misunderstand me: I'm not saying that you mean nothing to me. More than anything you've all stood by my side when I needed help the most. You've been by my side probably more than I've ever been there for any of you. It's not that I dont treasure the friendship I have with any of you: you should know how much friends are worth in my eyes.
But that's exactly the problem. Why doesn't it scare me? Why am i not afraid of losing any of you? Or... why doesn't it matter anymore? Even asking myself to think about it now... I see a void. I see emptiness. Nothingness.
I don't know who or what changed me. And to be honest, I don't know if i want to go back to being that weakling I used to be. I'm stronger now, I know it. But is it really worth the sacrifices I will have to make to stay this way?
I thank all of you for always being there, for always listening to me despite everything I've done. To tell you the truth, something got me crying the other day. Sandy got us each a card, and on mine she wrote "I know you've been having a hard year this year." Strangely that sentence struck me the hardest. I guess in a sense, this year was probably one of the hardest years in my life. I've gotten hurt so many times, and in the process I've hurt so many people.
It's finally happened. My heart's been shattered so many times that it's locked itself up. I feel nothing. I don't feel pain, and I don't feel happiness. It's just empty. And strangely, it's okay.
I know now I wasn't made strong. I wasn't made who I am today. It wasn't me. It's my surroundings. But I don't blame anyone for who I am today. I don't even know if I'm happier this way. I know I can only blame myself. I got myself into this situation. I made myself suffer.
Someone once told me, my eyes no longer shine. My mum attributes it to my staring at the computer too long. How true, I don't know.
But now my only question remains: who am I now? and is it better this way? Is this my way of growing up?
I don't know.
The girl in the mirror is no longer the girl I used to be.
A friend (?) once told me, he saw himself in me, when he was my age. At that time, I didn't know what to say. But I realise, I may be slowly falling into his shadow. And it scares me. And i don't even know why..
Don't mistake me, it's not loneliness. It's something more profound that no one word can truly explain this feeling. Thinking closely, it's the absence of feeling. Those who know me well enough should know what I have done, what I'm capable of doing. I don't deny this.
I've changed. Maybe so much I myself am confused. Many a time recently I look into the mirror and I no longer know the girl staring back at me. She's a stranger: she belongs nowhere. My spirit's gone. The fighting spirit has vanished. In the past, I was known for never giving up, fighting to the end. That spirit has disappeared.
I don't know what changed me so much, even I can no longer recognise myself. I sit alone in my room many times, trying to figure out what changed me, and whether I wanted it this way. It's still a double-edged sword: I no longer care how my enemies or even strangers see me. But it also scares me. I know that I've been neglecting my friends, or at the very least I haven't been myself lately. And I know if this goes on, I'm going to lose them. But strangely, it doesn't scare me.
Please dont misunderstand me: I'm not saying that you mean nothing to me. More than anything you've all stood by my side when I needed help the most. You've been by my side probably more than I've ever been there for any of you. It's not that I dont treasure the friendship I have with any of you: you should know how much friends are worth in my eyes.
But that's exactly the problem. Why doesn't it scare me? Why am i not afraid of losing any of you? Or... why doesn't it matter anymore? Even asking myself to think about it now... I see a void. I see emptiness. Nothingness.
I don't know who or what changed me. And to be honest, I don't know if i want to go back to being that weakling I used to be. I'm stronger now, I know it. But is it really worth the sacrifices I will have to make to stay this way?
I thank all of you for always being there, for always listening to me despite everything I've done. To tell you the truth, something got me crying the other day. Sandy got us each a card, and on mine she wrote "I know you've been having a hard year this year." Strangely that sentence struck me the hardest. I guess in a sense, this year was probably one of the hardest years in my life. I've gotten hurt so many times, and in the process I've hurt so many people.
It's finally happened. My heart's been shattered so many times that it's locked itself up. I feel nothing. I don't feel pain, and I don't feel happiness. It's just empty. And strangely, it's okay.
I know now I wasn't made strong. I wasn't made who I am today. It wasn't me. It's my surroundings. But I don't blame anyone for who I am today. I don't even know if I'm happier this way. I know I can only blame myself. I got myself into this situation. I made myself suffer.
Someone once told me, my eyes no longer shine. My mum attributes it to my staring at the computer too long. How true, I don't know.
But now my only question remains: who am I now? and is it better this way? Is this my way of growing up?
I don't know.
The girl in the mirror is no longer the girl I used to be.
A friend (?) once told me, he saw himself in me, when he was my age. At that time, I didn't know what to say. But I realise, I may be slowly falling into his shadow. And it scares me. And i don't even know why..
Dec 24, 2008
omg i stole this frm my fren's blog. ITS FUNNY!
DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters :
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN
When you rearrange the letters :
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters :
MOON STARER
DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters :
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES
When you rearrange the letters :
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH
When you rearrange the letters :
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters :
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters :
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY
When you rearrange the letters :
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS
When you rearrange the letters :
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters :
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters :
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES
When you rearrange the letters :
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters :
TWELVE PLUS ONE
And now.. for the grand finale of cool anagrams...
MOTHER-IN-LAW
When you rearrange the letters :
WOMAN HITLER
OMG LA!
DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters :
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN
When you rearrange the letters :
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER
When you rearrange the letters :
MOON STARER
DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters :
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES
When you rearrange the letters :
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH
When you rearrange the letters :
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters :
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters :
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY
When you rearrange the letters :
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS
When you rearrange the letters :
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters :
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S
A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters :
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES
When you rearrange the letters :
THAT QUEER SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters :
TWELVE PLUS ONE
And now.. for the grand finale of cool anagrams...
MOTHER-IN-LAW
When you rearrange the letters :
WOMAN HITLER
OMG LA!
Dec 23, 2008
It’s been too long since I last blogged. But I’m doing it now because I got a very important issue (and its bugging me a little).
I’m now working as the assistant editor of WaWa magazine, and I was doing research on a worldwide charity organisation to use for an article. BUT THEN I CANT FIND ANY ORGANISATION THAT ISN’T CHRISTIAN!
It’s really sad, because I saw a few organisations that really moved me. They were the kind of organisations that I think I WOULD HAVE considered joining… for example. Sponsoring a kid. It sounded like something LY said she did. I was quite intrigued.
If I had the cash, it was something I wouldn’t mind joining. It’s like a homestay thing to me anyway. BUT THEN, I realised the money was to be used so the kids can go to school, enough to eat, and… hear the word of God. I’m sorry but I just don’t think that I can consider funding something for a child, when I don’t believe in doing it myself.
But it’s not the only one. Most organisations are religious in essence. Helping people to spread the word of their God seems like what I see now. And I’m just not feeling it. This isn’t the way it should be.
It’s just my personal opinion, but it feels odd to me. Amazing, but odd. I really don’t understand it. But I know that I will not join any religious charitable organisation!!!! WOOTS~!
I’m now working as the assistant editor of WaWa magazine, and I was doing research on a worldwide charity organisation to use for an article. BUT THEN I CANT FIND ANY ORGANISATION THAT ISN’T CHRISTIAN!
It’s really sad, because I saw a few organisations that really moved me. They were the kind of organisations that I think I WOULD HAVE considered joining… for example. Sponsoring a kid. It sounded like something LY said she did. I was quite intrigued.
If I had the cash, it was something I wouldn’t mind joining. It’s like a homestay thing to me anyway. BUT THEN, I realised the money was to be used so the kids can go to school, enough to eat, and… hear the word of God. I’m sorry but I just don’t think that I can consider funding something for a child, when I don’t believe in doing it myself.
But it’s not the only one. Most organisations are religious in essence. Helping people to spread the word of their God seems like what I see now. And I’m just not feeling it. This isn’t the way it should be.
It’s just my personal opinion, but it feels odd to me. Amazing, but odd. I really don’t understand it. But I know that I will not join any religious charitable organisation!!!! WOOTS~!
Dec 1, 2008
i havent blogged for a long time. actually i havent shown my online presence in a while now. been doing some thinking on my own. catching up with old friends.
met sharon and jes that day. after so long meeting those mediacorp kuku-heads was fun. hahaha.
i miss phy and san the most, met xiu for madagascar2, not that bad. first time she was out w/o azalea (yay i got it right!). she was kinda panicky, but it was fineee.
got a new HP, Nokia 6600 fold. its pretty~
met matt recently too for dinner.
quarrelled with parents.
but life goes on. as much as it sucks. lol.
oh and btw, im really disgusted by some people's behavior right now. at the same time, i've found a good friend in rayyen and vincent. sometimes it takes pain to make you realise what you had all along.
no i havent gotten over it. im barely surviving as it is.
but i know.. it hurts now. its meant to. one day i'll be okay. i hope.
i only know, i will not sink to the lvl of certain people.
no more miss nice hino.
thats got to end.
met sharon and jes that day. after so long meeting those mediacorp kuku-heads was fun. hahaha.
i miss phy and san the most, met xiu for madagascar2, not that bad. first time she was out w/o azalea (yay i got it right!). she was kinda panicky, but it was fineee.
got a new HP, Nokia 6600 fold. its pretty~
met matt recently too for dinner.
quarrelled with parents.
but life goes on. as much as it sucks. lol.
oh and btw, im really disgusted by some people's behavior right now. at the same time, i've found a good friend in rayyen and vincent. sometimes it takes pain to make you realise what you had all along.
no i havent gotten over it. im barely surviving as it is.
but i know.. it hurts now. its meant to. one day i'll be okay. i hope.
i only know, i will not sink to the lvl of certain people.
no more miss nice hino.
thats got to end.
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