Sorry people~ havent been posting much. Been spending some time with Jaz. ^^ life so far for me is good. Not great, not 100% perfect, but it's picking up.
Just glad i got to meet phy and xiu the other day. Sandy, cant wait to see you. Get well soon so we can meet.
**dating an army boy is hard work T_T, but at least its a 9-5 so its not that bad hehe**
Sep 24, 2008
Sep 12, 2008
we've given each other enough chances. maybe even one too many.
i thought last night settled it all. i thought i could face tomorrow bravely, looking forward and moving on.
i went back to all those places, the place you once promised me you would never let me get hurt, the place you swore to protect me. ironically now im back here, after it all, swearing on this exact same place that im going to give it all up this time.
i gave you everything i could, i put in everything i had. i can say i've tried my best time and again, admist all the pain and suffering. i can say that when none supported me, i refused to listen, until i began to fear telling them anything. i can say that i've given myself enough chances.
ive changed, that may be true. but now i think i understand. i changed because of you. before i met you all these never happened to me. i dont blame you, i kind of like the way this has changed me. i've always guessed that you were given into my life for a reason. but maybe i was just wrong about which reason it was.
im sorry all i have done isnt enough. im sorry for all the trouble ive caused. but ive decided, this time, for real, im going to move on. nothing you can say can change my mind, ive hurt myself enough this time. last night i spent the night crying, talking to the one person who would still listen to me and tell me its okay. last night i spent the night thinking if i could have done anything differently.
but i think now, even if i could, i dont want to. not anymore.
my lips are no longer yours to kiss
my hands are no longer yours to hold
my hugs are no longer yours to keep
and my heart is no longer yours to take.
you've made me afraid to love. you've made me fear everything there is about love. in the past i can say i'd put 100% into any relationship i would have thought was worthwhile, but no more. i cant say that anymore. im too afraid. im too afraid to even say yes to someone that truly loves me.
but even after all that, i dont blame you. i never blamed you. not once. i still protected you, i still did everything i could for you. and now i know that was never enough. in your eyes it would never be enough.
its enough for me. i've cried for you for the last time. i dont want to hear what you've got to say. i dont want it to make a difference. i dont want to hope for anything more. because if what you say is true, there can be nothing more, and nothing i say is going to change that. i'll stay by your side as i always have, as your friend. but nothing more. we drew the line very closely yesterday, today you nearly went over the line again. but im more careful now. because if i do anything wrong, im not only hurting you and me, but im hurting the one person who was willing to stand by me, the one person i made a promise to last night.
thank you.
i thought last night settled it all. i thought i could face tomorrow bravely, looking forward and moving on.
i went back to all those places, the place you once promised me you would never let me get hurt, the place you swore to protect me. ironically now im back here, after it all, swearing on this exact same place that im going to give it all up this time.
i gave you everything i could, i put in everything i had. i can say i've tried my best time and again, admist all the pain and suffering. i can say that when none supported me, i refused to listen, until i began to fear telling them anything. i can say that i've given myself enough chances.
ive changed, that may be true. but now i think i understand. i changed because of you. before i met you all these never happened to me. i dont blame you, i kind of like the way this has changed me. i've always guessed that you were given into my life for a reason. but maybe i was just wrong about which reason it was.
im sorry all i have done isnt enough. im sorry for all the trouble ive caused. but ive decided, this time, for real, im going to move on. nothing you can say can change my mind, ive hurt myself enough this time. last night i spent the night crying, talking to the one person who would still listen to me and tell me its okay. last night i spent the night thinking if i could have done anything differently.
but i think now, even if i could, i dont want to. not anymore.
my lips are no longer yours to kiss
my hands are no longer yours to hold
my hugs are no longer yours to keep
and my heart is no longer yours to take.
you've made me afraid to love. you've made me fear everything there is about love. in the past i can say i'd put 100% into any relationship i would have thought was worthwhile, but no more. i cant say that anymore. im too afraid. im too afraid to even say yes to someone that truly loves me.
but even after all that, i dont blame you. i never blamed you. not once. i still protected you, i still did everything i could for you. and now i know that was never enough. in your eyes it would never be enough.
its enough for me. i've cried for you for the last time. i dont want to hear what you've got to say. i dont want it to make a difference. i dont want to hope for anything more. because if what you say is true, there can be nothing more, and nothing i say is going to change that. i'll stay by your side as i always have, as your friend. but nothing more. we drew the line very closely yesterday, today you nearly went over the line again. but im more careful now. because if i do anything wrong, im not only hurting you and me, but im hurting the one person who was willing to stand by me, the one person i made a promise to last night.
thank you.
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