To everyone:

I’ve got something to confess. I’ve been acting like a jerk to all of you. I’ve told all of you stories about Matt that weren’t real. I’ve lied about certain things to different people. I manipulated with your feelings and told all of you one-sided stories just to make myself look good and to make him look like an ass.

Truth is, none of it is true. In the past when I told you Matt and I broke up, I twisted the story so badly that Matt became the jackass and I was the angel. That everything I did was right. That I was the one sacrificing to be with him, and that he did nothing for me. You may think I never said that, but it was implied.

Truth is, he’s given me more chances than I told you. Even time and again each time we broke up I begged him for another chance. I gave him empty promises about how I would change, about how I could be a better person. But behind his back, I backstabbed him, telling Shiyan and Calvin stories. I made him seem like he was the one at fault. That it was never me, and that I was the one giving him chances.

When Jaz and I got together, I neglected and ignored him. I threw him aside even though he was always a friend to me. My happiness meant more to me than his friendship. I was selfish and thought only about myself. But when Jaz and I broke up, he was the first one I looked for. And despite everything I’ve done towards him, he still helped me through it.

Even now, even today I haven’t learnt my lesson. I still continued lying to him and trying to cover up for those lies. I lied to all of you too. Sandy, Calvin, Shiyan: especially to you three. I told you once that I was raped but I really wasn’t. I was being a selfish brat trying to find attention.

Matt gave me many chances, and even though he did I never treasured it. I pretended to change because of him, because I didn’t want to lose him, but behind that I was always the same person. I’m a two-faced bitch, lying to everyone about everything.

I made Matt seem like the devil to all of you. I made all of you hate him and gang up against him, just so that I would feel good about myself.

I’m sorry to everyone. To all the lies I’ve told you. I’m sorry I’ve manipulated your feelings. I’m sorry I’ve used all of you. I’m sorry, especially to Matt, for tainting his image and turning him into something he’s not in everyone else’s eyes. I’m sorry Calvin and Shiyan, for making you believe me. For lying to all of you.


I'm truly, truly sorry.

im just back from the doctor's... let me first tell you what happened.


i was at a meeting with my boss and the rest, when suddenly this mirror dropped on my head. the mirror is a big mirror with a wooden frame, approximately those painting sized ones. it crashed right on the left side of my head.

everyone was stunned. they were all asking me if i was okay. everyone was worried. but i totally went numb... it hurt too badly for me to speak. at first i thought it was okay. i was pressing my hand to my head to numb the pain.

when i brought my hand away, there was blood all over my hands. a little blood started dripping down the side of my head. thats when i got worried. i started tearing a little, not because it hurt, but because i felt scared. head bleeding is never a good sign.

my boss sent me to the doctor. a general clinic below my house. she talked to me and told me funny stuff to make me feel better. then she just glue stitch to "repair" my head. she said there's a 1.5cm "split in my skull". i got stunned. i went "split in my WHAT~!?"

after that, now im back in the office. my head's throbbing a little, and it hurts quite a fair bit. my friends say i should go for an x-ray just to be sure. i'll see what my parents think.

still a little scared.