im worried about myself. and worried about everything else. i really dont know whats happening to my body, its not that im getting weaker or anything. its just that.. my body is beginning to think that it no longer needs physical necessities to survive. its been a long time since ive eaten a full meal, and i feel no hunger in me. i always threw it aside, thinking that as long as i drank enough water i'll be okay. but for the first time today, i actually puked the water out, and i cant swallow much.

its not voluntary, telling me "try to eat" is not going to help. im trying but if my body is unwilling to accept it i cant do anything about it.

~~

it's not helping that im kinda being forced to work at my dad's place. its not that i dont want to help him, just that 1. its an environment i know nothing, nor enjoy being in. 2. i feel like im being reduced to some secretary. i will probably never tell them that, but i cant take it anymore. 2 days being there has shown me only 1 thing... i hate it. its not the environment... its more like... i guess its just me, totally not enjoying being reduced to a secretary.

~~

back to my worries.. i dont know.. how can u see signs that you're aneroxic?

im worried about him too.. he doesnt show it but im sure he's under a lot of stress.. i hope it blows over soon.. then at least i can help him with it and not just sit here, far away, and watch him suffer.