recently ive been having weird pangs of pain... like i cant stretch.. i cant breathe properly. its weird, it's not long lasting, but its there. it hurts like hell when it's there.. almost worse than a knife sticking in your stomach. hypothetically speaking, of course.

i have lost more or less a lot of stomach space, and have no stomach for a lot of things i used to want. i dont feel like puking, but if i force food in, i cant swallow it. i havent gone to see the doctor because i dont feel its anything that the doctor can diagnose... i tried before and it didnt help.

ouch. there it is again... its not my heart. its in the space below chest area. literally. i cant breathe too deeply... i cant even stretch properly.. it hurts like hell, and i am at a loss as to what to do. i think my body is slowly learning not to listen to my mind anymore.. even moving now i'm afraid, because the pain comes literally so sudden and so shocking that i can do nothing about it but to suppress it.

my nerve endings are on a strike.. they want me to feel pain... everything hurts now... except my heart. haha. oddly thats the part that doesnt hurt a bit. okay maybe its numb from the pain ive already put it through.. but at least... that part of my life is over. at least my heart can feel happy for now... while the rest of my body disintegrates and hurts...