i hope this is not a recurring sign, or a sign of something else. but recently, especially the past few days, im becoming more quiet, more ellusive, and i have the tendency to want to be left alone.

i dont like crowds: i never did. i dont like going out in big groups of people, pretending for a second or more that i belonged to something bigger, because i never did.

all i need, all i wanted, was a small grp of friends, a small grp of people that has hence grown much larger. and too large, until i can no longer bear it. i cannot help but move myself away, once again becoming that group of 1. but unlike the past, it feels worse, knowing that im losing something, rather than maintaining.

maybe im just destined to live a life of solitude...

maybe i just crave that attention.

i dont know.

and with only 5 days to the end of internship...