once again on an upset roll.

so i'm just going to rant. if you dont want to hear my ranting, scroll down and wait for the pink portion.

~~ (ranting begins)

you claim to be responsible, you throw your rank everywhere you go. but when it comes down to the hard and dirty work, you'd rather not.

you'd rather say no, because you've cried, because you just dont want to, i honestly dont care. my off days are supposed to be for my leisure, for my enjoyment, for me to relax. im working my saturdays off so that i can have some time on weekdays. im willing to make a small sacrifice, and use BOTH my current off days to go to school and do the shit work that you obviously cannot. out of everyone, you are supposed to be the one covering my back, taking care of things when im not around.

instead all i know is today is a deadline for something that アロイ　くん only found out two days ago. tell me, pray please explain to me, what was i to do if he didnt? it was a wonderful opportunity, a great PR method... only we never knew.

thank goodness i came online yesterday night. i came for you, but i ended up having to clear the workload. its okay, because now im using my leave for club work. im fine with that. im fine with having to do that. but then i need you to tell me, honestly, why are you still holding on to this club, to this position?

because i cannot just accept that everytime there's work to be done, and i need you to be there, i have to always settle for a "oh. i dont want to go." if you're not free, i can understand. but noooo. its "i dont WANT to go." emphasis on the WANT. you've made your choice, and ive made mine.

its over.

be prepared for it. i will bring hell down.

~~

hehe. okies im back!!!

yeah oh a higher note, i'll be taking off on 2 days! yay i get to use my off! just didn't expect so many club stuff to crop up. many thanks to アロイ　くん for keeping me fairly updated about the club events, as well as KF who has been helping me behind the scenes to prepare for the AGM. thanks a lot you guys.

im trying not to be emo, but its not as easy as it looks. partially im happy because all these club things give me another reason to go back to school: a reason i've been yearning.

i think through internship ive already changed quite a lot: my mindset and my thinking has developed relatively quickly, and ive begun to feel less and less. maybe its the different company, maybe its the stress getting to me, listening to my other classmates talk about their internship.

i dont know why, but when people say something, i end up having a tendency to protect my own company: because they dont see the work these people here have put in to make what you see on TV. the nights these people slave over, only to be called "a government body" by the naive eyes.

look. they dont work for the government. they dont campaign for the government. so what? yes i love working here, each and every moment of it. but i do miss the club. so im kind of glad that i have to go back, despite my earlier rantings.

okay i cant type too much. i need to get back to work. its already 8.30!!! x)

OH AND BTW. i need a new phone.

stop being a darling princess. its time to be a warrior. fight for what you believe in. leave nothing to hope. you cant be disappointed if you cant hope. you cant be happy if you aren't sad. you cant be pleased if you've never felt pain.

phase 1 has been completed. slowly, but surely, i will eat you from the inside. slowly, i will destroy you. i will make you wish you were dead.

thats the spirit. bring out the warrior in you.