my heart is broken. torn and shattered. and im never picking it up again. because i cannot stand on my own feet anymore. i know i need to be strong, that i need to be independent, and stand on my own feet. but with each blow, each moment, i find its getting harder. the past and the never-happening future colliding today is making it harder and harder for me to cope. i guess i searched for trouble: i never should have gone so far.

and now i cant turn back. because it has become a memory.


i should have just let it remain in the past.

i should have just ignored it.

but i didn't.

i couldn't.

and now i regret it.

because i should have listened.

and now i hate myself for it.

why does my past have to always catch up to me? cant it remain in the past, waiting for me to move on? memories dont mean so much to me until i realise the potential of my memories, of how much pain they can bring me.



dont you just hate me?

i know i hate myself right now.