old flames die hard

is it possible for old, already almost dying flames to rekindle? and wait. xiu, phy, jan. if you guys are gg to start flooding my tagboard with things like "its not worth it..." "dont go there again." "ex's are supposed to remain ex's..." STOP.im not talking abt desmond. (even though he did msg me late a few nights ago. but we shall not dwell into that. i believe... IT WAS THE WRONG NUMBER. xD)

i thought that the part about us fighting for ____ during the first part f this year was over already... that we could just kinda go on and forget about the past, that i could leave it all behind and act as though nothing in the world has happened. but ive realised one very important thing: i can't let it go. as in... how can you when its obvious the other side hasn't either? ok maybe not that they havent, but rather they pretend they havent, and still can smile at me as though the world wasn't upside down anymore.

phy once said that im very big on friendship.. i guess in a sense that's true. and after talking to xiuzhi about certain stuff, ive come to the conclusion that... i just cant seem to adapt as of yet. it's not just a one-sided thing... but both ways i think. i dont know... i shall explain more in detail when ive figured it out.

anyway... i thought that i could go on, pretending nothing happened. okay not exactly. more like pretending that im fine with the world as it is now. half truth, half lie, i guess. i'm slowly getting used to sandy's presence, and like janice says, she's fun to be around and all. but ultimately... because of certain reasons beyond my understanding, i dont know why but i just cant seem to let go. all my glares towards them seem to be filled with venom and ice.

i guess you can say im happy because we proved ourselves, that we can survive even without ____, but i cant help but feel that im not satisfied just like that. odd, isnt it?

dont know, recently my mind's been going off key... i shouldnt even be bothering about this kind of rubbish. kaifon once mentioned i think too much, or that i concern myself with the less important things.. especially when i have to study.

oh well... that's my mind for you. can't stay in one place. but hey~ thats what makes an individual unique!!! hehehe.

last thing to note to all students and friends out there: STUDY HARD!! GANBATTE NE!!!

sometimes flames , but they reignite again

even bigger and brighter than they used to be. Pain.

Takahashi Hinoki