goodbye all, TEMPORARILY.

ive finally decided to go on my hiatus. so in case anyone tries to contact me, if you read this: i dont hate you.

The reason why ive decided to go on hiatus is because im beginning to feel that everything is piled on me, and perhaps im taking on too much for me. But being me, i hate to say no and i want to try to help in anyway i can. But i'm starting to feel that everyone is pressuring me into doing something that i feel im holding a major of the weight on.

School work, friends, even at home, i feel like i cant rest at any point without being told that im supposed to be doing something else. so yeah. im going on hiatus. i will not reply SMSes, i will not log on MSN, i will not answer any calls. please dont spam my phone or i'd have to resort to blocking incoming calls until im ready. however, yes i am aware that i still have commitments to carry out.

im holding a lot of things on my own, too much perhaps for me. i wake up with headaches that i cant fight. i cant sleep and i feel like im always on the brink of tears. no matter what songs im listening to (and i blast them at full volume to avoid white noise in the office), im one step away from crying. its not about my relationships or my life anymore. i feel like im one step from breaking down and giving up.

i feel more and more like i want nothing more than to lie in bed and rot and be myself. to let go of all my work-related commitments but we all know i cant do that. i just hate that even when i go online for like 5secs, before i even get a chance to see who's online, i get offline/online messages asking me if ive done whatever it is im supposed to do.

you may say im running away, you may say im hiding from reality. truth is i dont care. if i dont run now, i will really break down.

so please, if you read this. let me go on my hiatus. i'll be back in a month or so. promise.