In the Eyes of the Beast


In some time in our lives, we've all said things like "this person is blablabla.. that person is blablabla." i know ive said it more than my fair share, most of the time to unwilling and unsuspecting people. Knowing fully well that someone doesnt deserve it, but still saying it anyway. Sometimes its a matter of feeling superior, others its just to curb your own inferiority.

But recently i've realised, that although im saying all these about other people, i'm not looking at myself carefully. i've spent so much time making up a life, living in an illusion, that at some point in time i forgot who i really was. looking into that mirror in my life, i guess i was the worst of all. yeah, some people in my life deserved what i said. some classmates 100% deserved it. but who am i, an enemy, to press judgement on them? they've done things to me i will never forgive, but my hatred has in turn made it even harder to look past that wall.

i guess this is one of the many things ive realised about me.

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on to happier things. phy should be coming back soon. cant wait. talking to xiu on msn now. feels like forever since i last spoke to her. she sounds depressed about work. ok maybe not depressed, more like... upset about certain parts of her job. hmm..