haii its been 2 days. no news for 2 days. its worrying and yet at the same time, its testing my limits. i find myself finding the reason stupid.. why do i care so much? why do i bother? but the truth is that i do... because if i don't tonight, tomorrow i wont either...

its sad because i miss that feeling.. its stupid.. but i do. i dont care if nothing comes out of it.. but i need it now. i need him more than ever. アロイ　has told me, indirectly, that the answer he has might not be the answer i want. but if thats not the answer i want, will i be okay, knowing everything was just a game? will i be okay, and be able to continue like that, knowing nothing would come out of it? ... the honest answer.. i think i will be.

its stupid. but its true. ive fallen too hard, ive fallen too fast. head over heels, and hell over heaven.