i havent blogged in quite a long time... my blog suddenly feels superficial to me. i cant even write what i want to write. those who know, you'll understand why. there's no way i can ever write this out in words.

its turning my heart to mush... not in a good way. its not the melting kind of mush. its the destructive kind of mush. not good. definitely not good.

after knowing i cant write that out here, i realise i have nothing else to say. those thoughts have kept me occupied most of the time.

HOWEVER...

i celebrated my birthday with my parents today. we went to this little shop called "The Ship". ate some western food, and then i opened my present. i didnt want to, but my parents made me. they're more interested in opening it than i am.. hmmm.. =p

its cosmetics. the big box is... sorta fake. inside not so big. =p but its cute either way. i can put more things inside. xD hahaha.

im meeting the girls on tuesday. i rather they plan than i did. xD hahahahaha.

feel stupid, blogging, but cant get the main feeling out of my mind. =(

thank you girls for trying to help. both of you have asked me many times. i'll explain on tuesday, promise. i feel maybe its time i tell you girls. maybe you can help me.

im just being stupid. dumb, i know. but i cant help it.