its like flying over a thousand miles, only to realise that you're back exactly where you started. sometimes its so hard to explain that i cant really find a true reason behind all this anger and frustration that i feel deep down inside.

all i know is that if things keep going on this way, one day i will lose my mind. even things that ive spent years, months looking forward to, suddenly seem so miniscule, like it doesnt matter anymore. suddenly the things i yearn for no longer seem to be the reason why i continue my life.

its hard to imagine that these girls i get so attached to, that in a while's time we're going to be separated, never to see each other again. its hard to notice all the things coming at me, and realise that one day they'll never be there again... and just when you seem to have finally adjusted to poly life and its friends, its time once again to move on... and separation always seems so hard.