its finally happened: it's starting to mean less and less to me. every day im online i realise im less and less attracted to the game: it's changed too much for me to think about staying there too long. i guess im finally starting to grow up, knowing that one day i will leave this behind and move on. that one day i'll have to. before i started poly i used to play games a lot too. once school started i found myself having no time at all: other things were way more important. with school and friends and life beckoning to me, i found myself letting it go subconsciously. but now im consciously telling myself that i dont want to get stuck on this anymore.

i guess at one point i never wanted to leave the game, because it meant a lot to me. it meant that at least at that time i could talk to him. i know leaving the game behind i'd lose quite a bit of contact with him, but i trust our friendship is stronger than just beyond the world of gaming. it's with that trust that i lose the fear of letting it go completely.

i guess when my life gets busy again, when i find a life beyond this screen, i will move on. they ask me what about my friends in the gaming world. they're just characters on a screen. they were never anything more.

im gg to take it a step at a time. see how long more this game can continue to push me before i finally am forced to let it go completely.