i dont know why but im very depressed today. went for a movie with my parents... but i started crying on the way home. i really dont know why i started crying.. maybe a mixture of a lot of things... maybe just... to get myself up and running again.

i guess i've seen a lot of things, thought of a lot of things today.

someone once told me that i treated my friends very well. that i was always concerned about them... that i always thought about my friends before myself. i think its because... when i see someone upset, i want to make that person feel better. as long as that person is of something to me, i would go to the extents of the world to do something for her/him.

i realise its not because im concerned, because im nice. simply... its because i knew that if it were me in those shoes, i would want someone to do something for me. i treat people simply because i want to be treated that same way. i guess when you put it in those terms, its selfish.. haha.

a few days ago i was talking to a friend about how different parents tend to treat the first born than compared to the 2nd born. i started off being jealous over my sister, but after talking it through, i realised that my standpoint changed, and in the end, i feel i like who i am. yes, my sis gets the physical perks of whatever i get despite being younger, but because of that i can see some things in a bigger point of view.

yes and somehow, i thought through all these things while i was crying.. that was 1/2 an hour ago. and now that my mind is much better, i can feel better to.

Post note:

BYE BYE GORDON~! GOOD LUCK IN AUS!