im pissed. freaking pissed now. ok so i dont consider them friends anymore, but still its pissing to know so many things inside me, and yet i cant say anything about it. i dont want to mention it, because there's too many things to be said. so i cant care less.

too many things have happened, which im one by one getting rid of. one by one i'm becoming more and more upfront, telling things as it is to the people who need to know. ive come to realise one thing: if your friends cannot stand the truth, and expect you to feel the hatred, hiding for them and lying for them, and when you admit the truth, they turn on you, then they're not really friends after all. ive planned to do what im going to do, and one step at a time, i will eliminate my enemies. i dont need enemies in my presence.

what started off as a fine day now has become no more than any other day. i dont care: these trival things should not, and no longer will, make me feel any better, nor will it make me feel worse. they will just be a part of life, and a part of my life. it is no longer the purpose of mine to make friends, no longer my purpose to make friends i dont need. my true friends are the ones i can trust, the ones i can trust my life to, to know they have my back.

and after defining that, ive come to a concensus... i dont need people who i have to lie and disturb and think to myself for. i want a true friend, even if its just one, rather than a few whom i have to control myself with.