kaerimasen

last night i had a major fight with my parents, and was kinda chased out of my house. im not going to write any details here, but anyway i told my parents something i shouldnt have in a spite of anger. so now im home, but im kinda like being treated like a ghost.

anyway, after sze and kaifon comforted me, kaifon and i went... DA DA DA DAAAA~~~ marina square. yes i finally stepped into marina square after so many months. xD

nothing of interest really, just that it made me feel that sometimes my friends for obvious reasons understand me much better... so now im going to say something i never had the guts to say before, because i know that the NUXE will definitely not approve and not understand. they have spent so much time telling me that its better this way, and that he's an idiot. but this time, im going to tell you how i really feel about this... and how wrong you all are.


its weird, but even after all thats happened, and after many have told me he's a coward and an idiot that i dont need, and how much i deserve something better, someone who can treat me like a princess (ok yes phyphy im quoting you be happy xD), i still cant help but think some things over after a while, that maybe i was the cause of the result that we readily blamed him for. i dont know, i just feel that way.

anyway, this is something that i dont know if the NUXE can accept, or if anyone can actually, but im going to write it anyway. even if i could turn back time, and start over again, with the same result at the end, i would still have agreed to it. true that it ended with me being an idiot and a crazy stupid head that couldn't function for about a week... but still i would have done it. in fact, if you asked me, even if i was given another chance, if by some miracle i could get another chance, i probably could not have truthfully said "no, i won't make that same mistake again". in fact, i think there is a part of me that still thinks about the past. it was good memories, and memories are all that they will be, but still...

anyway.. back to present... i finally got the energy to reach home, thanks to the constant persuasion of sze and kaifon, i finally decided to reach home. but they're now acting like i don't exist. is this way really better? i really dont know.

minna... kyou wa arigatou... honto ni.

demo ne, ima sugu ni kaerimasen.

Takahashi Hinoki