あああ。。。

金沢！！！石川～　能美！！！　ゆか！　れな！　える！　おかあさん！おとおさん！

むかい　せんせい！　じゅじ　せんせい！　おはら　せんせい！　おみ　せんせい！　みんな！

i miss all the people i've met there, all the memories we've shared. the neoprint now means even more to me than it ever did before: of how much fun we've enhjoyed there, how much beauty we've seen, the friends we've made.. i'll miss the times we've spent in kanazawa...

and here i'm making a solemn promise... 1 year from now.. 1 year. i will go back.
ぜったい　に　かなざわ　へ　かえります。

the relationship is never over. it lasts even longer than anything else.

this will be what i remember SP as: the chances that they gave me, the opportunities given to me. the friends i've managed to make through all these.. it all makes it worthwhile..

thank you.

going to MILE made me reignite my love for the japanese language.. ^^

it seemed so long ago, and yet i can never forget them. it seemed almost like a dream. one month ago exactly.. i was at yuka's house. we were up on the mountain. even looking at the pictures, wondering about so many things, made everything else insignificant. ever since i came back, i never stopped thinking about her, about how she was at this point in time. one month ago today, i would be in yuka's car, driving to karaoke with hikaru and haruka. really seems like a dream how fast time flew. seems inevitable that i have to go back, whether alone or not.

hard to imagine that the first day i met yuka... i was so speechless for words. i had met her before in singapore, but i didnt say much then. i knew what i wanted to say, what i learnt in singapore, but the moment i met her, all the words escaped from my mouth. my japanese just didnt seem good enough suddenly. it was a thrill and an unforgettable experience to be with yuka, around her and her family. i'll never forget 19th MILE. even through all the problems and the chaos, and all the people i've stabbed in the back. all the people i hated when i was there.. who i'd consider nothing but acquaintences... who i'd never understand why they were there.. i knew that it was meant to be. the point of going over was not to make friends with singaporeans. yes, i feel i did make friends while i was there... i got to know people like aloysius and ruth and joseph better... i got the opportunity to meet weilong and weiting.. both of whom i consider good friends, and best of all.. i got the blessed opportunity to meet yuka.

i write this now, knowing fully well i'll never forget this experience, knowing even if i never get to see her again, she'll always be there. those 14 days seemed to have flown by like an arrow, and here i am back in singapore, though my mind and my heart wishes i was back in japan. i wish i could have kept on living those 14 days over and over again... there with my friends and my family, where i didnt have a worry.

suddenly everything else in life seemed insignificant... as i remembered the times back in kanazawa. i had left with happy memories, i hadn't cried, i refused to tear. ok i teared 1 or 2 tears. kanazawa will now forever be a part of me. i hope i left enough behind for them to remember me by... at least until i go back again.

yuka... until then, until we meet again...

it hurts, being so far away from them, away from the family i called home for 10 days. each day i dream, i miss them more than ever.

the past two days have probably been the best days of my life. the guys celebrated my birthday for me. and i would like to thank all those guys.

puvan, ruth, weilong, アロイ, joseph. ok originally we meant to watch the KTC video, but we ended up doing weird stuff.

well at first we met at school to head over to wl's house to camp while waiting for ruth. at 5, we headed to botak jones for dinner. i didnt eat, but its a good thing: the chicken was spicy.

anyway, after that we headed over to the chalet/hotel. we were told that it was meant to be a couple room... haha it was lor! the toilet got extra door so they can watch TV and ... i guess do some weird stuff. aloy likes the hotel though... (maybe can room with saya, he mentioned xD)

anyway, after the guys camped out for a while, they decided to cut the cake. yeahhh the nice guys actually bought a cake for me. (and thank you puvan for not using the mousse). puvan stuck the candle into the cake so deep, and expected me to use my mouth to pull it out. luckily i managed to do it without much hassle (or cream on my face).

then we were watching the video, and suddenly weilong grabbed my shoulders from the back. FORTUNATELY, i had seen puvan take the last piece of cake, so i pushed myself forward. thank goodness, i prevented it.

then it happened again. Aloysius pulled me down from the back, and instinctively i pulled my legs up to cover my face. but this time i didnt get away. someone grabbed me (i suspect weilong), and puvan slimed the cake over my glasses. all the hell for fun la, but my hair smells like cake. =p but it was fun anyway. hahahaha. thank goodness the bed didnt get any cake on it.

after ruth and puvan left, the guys decided to go swimming. amazingly, aloy cant swim. (i didnt know that). jo kindly took a pic for me... and it turned out pretty nice.

UNFORTUNATELY, my laptop screwed me up, so now i cant upload any pics using my old computer. =( sighhh.. will upload once i get the lappie working again. xD hahaha. anyway, it was funny to see the three guys in their various swimming trunks. hahahaha. =p we talked quite a bit as i sat on the bench watching them. (not to mention i got wet because weilong splashed me T_T)

then after wards we watched some transformers (jo and aloy fell asleep halfway). some stuff happened, i shall not elaborate. but all it all it was a fun time to be spent with those people. this morning we got up and went home. my lappie still not working. but i had fun yesterday. ^^ those guys mean a lot to me now... their definitely good friends to have. for that reason, and for my host Yuka, MILE was definitely worth going for. the friends ive made there made it all worthwhile..

also because of that now im clearer of what i want... and because of that now i can decide how to move on in life. ive found the answer i need... and now i just need to wait it out. xD