this about sums up how i feel now.

take a breath
take it deep
"calm yourself," he says to me.
"if you play, you play for keeps
take the gun, and count to 3."

im sweating now
moving slow
no time to think
my turn to go

and you can see my heart, beating
you can see it through my chest
that im terrified but im not leaving
i know that i must pass this test
so just pull the trigger

say a prayer
to yourself
he says close your eyes
sometimes it helps
and then i get a scary thought
that he's here, means he's never lost

and you can see my heart beating
you can see it through my chest
that i'm terrified but im not leaving
i know that i must pass this test
so just pull the trigger

as my life flashes before my eyes
im wondering will i ever see another sunrise
so many wont get the chance to say goodbye
but its too late to think of the value of my life.

and you can see my heart beating
you can see it through my chest
that i'm terrified but im not leaving
i know that i must pass this test
so just pull the trigger