i am not to be packaged.

i realise for a very long time ive been "packaged" as being part of a whole. never just 1 person. but always 2.

in secondary school i was always the "person next to kristy." the person she looked towards when she needed notes, the person she looked to when she needed a shoulder. and although she's been there for me i remember occasions where teachers would tell me "can you help kristy ...". i didnt understand at that point in time but it was the start of me being packaged as a part of something instead of just myself.

thankfully in poly, i wasn't. i was treated as a whole person. i got to run my own club the way i wanted to, and i got good friends who were willing to put my flaws aside and treat me as a person. yeah we fought a lot and quarrelled, but they still stayed with me no matter what.

den came my uni life. first situation. because i didnt come for the first class, they had alrdy assigned groups to everyone. so me and R ( i shall not put her name here) had no group. R and I were firends from the first module, but we didnt know each other v well. so we joined this group i will call the D group.

D group people knew each other for along time i think they came from the same poly or smth. So the D group let us join as they had oni 4 and need 5-6 members.

During the course of this project, 1 member always wasn't around. That was R. and all of us got very annoyed by it. my included. i didnt know what D group was thinking until the "leader" of D group said "i regret adding you and R to the group. You contribue and ur a + to the group, but R is negative and is a -. So u neutralise each other." im like wtf. u tell that to me in my face. so you would prefer 3 ppl working on 1 project than 4? okkk lor. i swore at that point i wont continue in the same group if i could help it. The next module i joined my current group. WAY better.

den now comes work. K (my sec sch fren) working with me. and im being packaged with her to "help her clean and wash her cups" because she didnt. wtf. her problems are hers and mine are mine. i do work well and all i get is people asking me to tell HER to do it faster. HELLO WE ARE NOT SIAMESE TWINS OK. Thanks.

The oni person i wished to be packaged with is babyy, who seems to have a lot of work and politics on his end, so i dun wanna worry him about these trivial details. it just an annoyance and its not very much a big deal. i just hope babyy can pull through it, because he really likes what he is doing and i dun wan him to give it up just because some asses are being unfair to him. (tho now i think about it, i did those things to him before. when he was telling me, i kept having flashbacks to the things ive done to him. im sorry babyy. im sorry.)

ok finished rant for the day. back to work!