yes i do realise this blog has become more of a rant. recently im starting to rethink some parts of myself: the emotions, the anger, the spikes and spites im having recently.

i perfectly understand why some people would put their spouses and boyfriends before anyone else, because in a way i do too, and im aware of it. not consciously, definitely not because i dont want to let him mix with my friends or any other reason. but just because now that im working i find myself wanting to spend more and more time with him, compared to the past where we met everyday.

but the thing is, even if im as busy as i am, and matt is as busy as he is, we dont request each other to take "off days" just to be able to spend some time with each other. 1. we both need the money, and 2. we both know that its not easy to get a job, and this is what will happen should we move on to being more than a couple in the future. even at this stage sometimes we do talk about our future, not just our own individually, but ours as a couple should we make it that far.

but a good friend of mine. (ok at this point im just going to spill everything out, and if she hates me and doesnt want to be my friend anymore, so be it. she'll probably say im being anal and being so secondary school again but whatever. as a friend its my job to wake her up. and even if that means putting our friendship on the line, so be it.)

firstly, i must say i found this job for her. good pay, good hours, not much brain power used. i must admit that when i told my dad (who's a friend of the guy hiring me) that i wanted to ask her along, he had a skeptic point of view. no doubt its because she's had a very bad reputation during secondary school for being a slacker. but i figured everything had changed.

guess not. at first she worked hard. not very hard. with time to slack, with time to facebook and chat. that was fine as long as they worked, in my opinion.

but in recent months she's started to slack even more, to the point that the 100 records we were supposed to clear a day, has dropped from a 70+ to a miserable 12 a day. and why? because she spends the day playing FB and talking to her bf.

now look, as my dad's daughter i have to work hard to keep his reputation, and im trying hard to ignore my colleagues who are obviously unhappy because they feel that they "cannot hit 100 records a day and its impossible" when i manage to. in a way i prove to everyone it can be done. den they ask me to slow down? wtf is that my problem if they cant hit because they're slacking?

nvms, nowbecause she wants to clear the workload given to her, she's taking short cuts. first it was only 1.i beared with it and tried not to complain or talk her out of it. now its almost 3 steps missing and i find myself getting really pissed everytime i see her slacking. and she can TELL me she's bored at work.

then today she tells me she's not going to work cos her boyfriend planned a surprise for her. today? you had 2 weekends to spend with her... why not then? ok maybe im being anal at this point. maybe she volunteered to take the day off (which for her is quite likely). but seriously im pissed because i feel that as a bf you should encourage her to go to work, or at least plan it on another day. FINE, you only haf a month with her before you go back to the U.S. and while we're on the topic of her boyfriend. let me get this out. YOU. YOU THE BOYFRIEND WHO HAVE NOT MET MY BOYFRIEND. YOU HAVE 100% NO RIGHT TO CALL ANYONE A FKER JUST BECAUSE OF 1 INCIDENT. JUST BECAUSE OF 1 SENTENCE BY YOUR GIRLFRIEND (do you comment on girls' undies while going up the escalator) YOU DECIDE TO LABEL HIM AS A FKER. and BTW, that incident was well over 2 years ago OK. neither of you have met him in that 2 years, and i can tell you that he no longer does that anymore. so if its justified that you call him a fker because of what happened 2 years ago, then i guess im fully justified to judge u based on what i knew about you 2 years ago, mr. im willing to buy kristy a prada bag just because i love her. well fk you. if you know him any better i would forgive you and take it as a joke. if you were a girl, i would. but thats not acceptable, especially when you know fully well im reading what you're typing. seriously. and while we're on this topic, if you REALLLLY think you know your gf better than i do, u better think again. seriously. ive known her for how many years more than you. but ok if you think you know her better den me, be my guest. i am honestly sick of this. its like secondary school all over again. i've grown up. you can insult me and call me names (but of course u wouldn't, im ur girlfriend's friend afterall. you're OBLIGED to be nice to me), but NEVER EVER judge my BF based on SOMEONE else's opinion ESPECIALLY when its based on 1 circumstance. i swear. that is one thing i will NEVER forgive. EVER. ask kristy. i dont forgive easy. trust me. i do not forgive easily. at all. i bear very very deep grudges.

so.. good day to you :)

okies im done ranting. not sure if i want ppl to read this or not. still thinking. doubt she'd find it anyway.